Reflections from a Mom

Hi everyone,

I had to take a break from my work on Curiosity Cottage, to just reflect on my heart from a mom's perspective.

The Heart of a Mother

I also think the important thing about any business venture is that one must never loose sight of what is really important.  Taking the time to tell your love ones how much they mean to you; taking the time to reflect and pray about all of the blessings in your life, thanking the Lord for those blessings - even when you may find that life is a bit overwhelming, is truly what life is all about!!

So as I prepare for the new chapter that lies ahead for Curiosity Cottage I find that the gratitude I have for what the Lord has already done for my little business and through my little business, if that is all that comes from this new chapter, will be reward enough!!  

He has already allowed Curiosity Cottage to show my friends and family INCREDIBLE God Winks.  I just cannot wait to see what else He has in store!!

Dancing While You Dust

Hi everyone!

If I had not been awake when I opened my front door at 5 this morning to let my dogs outside, the cold air fueled by blustery winds was like God’s own snooze button. WOW!!! It must have also given me an extra burst of energy. Yes, definitely a Crème Brulee Coffee kind of morning! My “honey do” list for me seems to be never ending, but today I would try something a bit different. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade…right???



Snow White is not the only woman that likes to whistle while she works!! Wanting to make sure that I raise my boys properly, I tell them that all women whistle while they work…and if they don’t, then if they will stop and help the women in their lives that they will make them very happy and then they will want to whistle. :D :D Some lovely ladies are sure going to thank me one day!! :D

Now this morning, I decided to turn things up a notch…or rather quite a few notches!! LOL So armed with my FAVORITE coffee in the world I decided to let Maroon5 and Jagger help me move the mountains of laundry before me. I’m sure Jagger uses his moves when he does laundry too!! At least that is my story and I’m sticking to it. :D If you dance and sing while trying to mark things off your “Honey Do” list, things go much, much faster!!

As Sam begins to stir the only comment I get is “mom, you remind me of Elmo.” To which I respond “well I LOVE Elmo, so to me that is a good thing!! Everyone should dance in the morning Sam.” “mom, go wake up Mikey!” I can’t help but smile and know my mom if FREAKED out up in heaven. My mom did not want us to speak until she had finished her coffee, read the paper, and started on a diet coke. Trying to suppress my enthusiasm for life was always tough. My brother and I are always asking ourselves where on earth we came from. It is a mystery that may never be known. I do know I had a great, great aunt who loved to make people laugh and imitate family members. Like me she also bought fabric with her clients in mind. I’m just guessing that her personality skipped a few generations and found its way to me. :D

By the time Sam was ready to go, his move had improved drastically…and he had also decided I sounded like Madea. “Wait Sam, you are comparing me to Elmo and Madea all in the same morning??? AWESOME!!!” One son ready to start his day and another one to get ready for school. Now my little one, he is the son who loves to sing and dance with his momma. As we head out the door, he looks back and says “mom, who is Jagger and what are him moves???” Sweetie, I’ll tell you when we get home!

Memories are made while dancing while you dust!!

Celebrate the Scale!!!

Hi everyone!

Since I go to my Weight Watchers meeting and The Biggest Loser comes on tonight as well, it just seemed that scales were the natural topic for the evening.  Why on earth would I want to do this??? 

Why on earth would I want to share these thoughts with the world.  Well that is pretty easy really.  A scale is no longer something that I hide from or pretend that I lost in a move; now scales are things of beauty that I treasure.  The scale is now my friend and the means with which this caterpillar intends to use to come out of her cocoon and become the butterfly she was always meant to be.

Now if I were to write and make you think that all this journey took was for me to walk into a Weight Watchers meeting; that I had merely been lacking in self control and now had figured this out and was good to go, then I would not be giving you the truth.  In order for any one to transform themselves in any way shape or form, in order to be successful - and this is the important part - then they must first do some real soul searching.

Everyone has a story, what is your story??  How was I able to start putting my story into tangible words so that I could start this metamorphosis?   Well it is funny how often we find ourselves face down in tragedy before we can look up to see the moon and the stars. 

This time last year I was on top of the world.  I knew God had big plans for my life.  However, on a beautiful, sunny spring day, March 19th to be exact, all of these plans would come to a screeching halt.  Heading into the first spring for Curiosity Cottage, baseball season was going to be bigger for me, in terms of embroidery orders, than Christmas…and that was HUGE!! 

 

My friends in Sunday School, both male and female, were so excited about what God was doing for my little business.  Each Sunday, as I would tell them about my experiences for the week, more than once I would be stopped after Sunday School and told how this progress just gave them goose bumps as they watched the AMAZING plans God obviously had for my life.

So on this March day, due to someone’s gross negligence, as I tried to bring my son a drink at his ball game, I would have a terrible fall.  A fall that would take me 9 months to recover from; a fall that I am still working to get stronger from; and a fall that brought my thriving business progress to a screeching halt.  Yes, on this day I was not worried about the golf ball size knot on my head or the apparent concussion, all I knew was that I could not move my arm and had way too much embroidery for this.

Slowly the days for my recovery turned into days, which turned into weeks and then my recovery time turned into months.  Through the excruciating pain and tears; I did not loose faith; I knew God had a plan.  I have a tendency to work extremely hard to take care of my little family…and while I know God does help those who help themselves, I have come to believe that He really wanted me to see that talent or not, even if I am hurt, He will provide for the needs of my children and myself.  Ok Lord…have this lesson down, my arm is getting stronger, life is slowly returning to normal, lets do this…lets show that miracles really do happen.  But then my life would be torn totally apart once more.

On July 5th, in the middle of the baseball All-Star games, my brother and I would have to check our mom into the hospital.  As I have shared in my past posts, my mom passed away just a few short weeks later on August 22nd.  She had only been diagnosed with IPF lung disease 13 days prior.  It was during this both mentally and physically exhausting ordeal that this caterpillar knew she had to get out of her cocoon. 

I was not sure while I was in this storm exactly what all of these thoughts and feelings meant at the time, but I once more clung to the promise that God only wants good for His children like a life raft in the middle of shark infested waters.  As our days at the hospital turned into weeks, my brother and I started writing down the things that mom would say.  It all seemed so surreal, like I was in a movie…and it was then that I knew I had to write this story.  So each day we would take turns taking notes about the things she would tell us.

In the four months since her passing I have written and written and written.  It has been such a liberating experience!!!  My PhD course work taught me one thing, how to research and research I have!!  With each interview and word added I would discover more and more about my life.  Yes, there have been times when this process has been incredibly painful…to the point that I had a dear friend tell me just before Christmas “you know Jen, you are truly a miracle.”  I laughed through the tears as I replied, “I only want my story to help other people write their own.”  This one novel is turning into three as I put the pieces of the puzzle of my life together.  As the puzzle goes together, so do I.  Each new piece added helps this caterpillar get that much closer to breaking out of this cocoon and being able to fly once and for all.

Moved to Tears

Hi Everyone! 

Well this evening you may want to pour a cup of coffee before you start reading…I seem to have a lot more to say.  :D  Imagine that!!  :D  Sunday is by far my FAVORITE day of the week and this day was no exception to that rule!!  I embraced today as if I had a child returning home from war. 

It was a challenging day filled with warm embraces and tears of joy too.  I spent the morning with friends as we absorbed Bro. Mike’s sermon like a sponge.  With one of my Love Languages being Physical Touch, I so welcomed this time of hugs and fellowship with dear friends.  It is also that one time of the week where I can sing my heart out in public; after all, my kids shouldn't be the only ones to get the privilege of hearing me!! 

The afternoon…well this was a tough one.  I spent part of the afternoon comforting my dear friend Mike and his family. 

What made it so tough?  Well this was the first time I have been back to the funeral home since mom passed.    Add to this the fact that Mike and his wife Jan had bought our home in Timberlake, that I loved so dearly, and well you have enough emotions floating around to lift a whole fleet of hot air balloons. 

It is kind of funny how I can be doing just fine, but then some unsuspecting person will say “I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, how are you doing???” And well then the rest is history…the tears start to flow.  Of course since I can cry at things on TV like someone on cue for a Hallmark commercial, my kids have grown use to this reaction from me.  Mikey does turn to me during shows though and will say “now mom, remember, this is just TV.”  Yes, my precious baby boy, I know. :D

Though they have gotten use to their mom’s tender heart over the years.  What I have tried to do this day is not avoid the tidal wave of emotions, but use them to get out things that need to be added to my novel.  So with my notebook and bible in hand this morning I headed out the door.  I thought at first I may have to pull the car over and just miss church so I could write…isn’t it funny how when the words start to flow there is no shut-off valve??!!  So I held on to my thoughts until I could get into Sunday School.  It would also not be a Sunday if I didn’t show up fashionably late… :D :D 

What is just so incredible about this entire writing process though, is that the lessons from Sunday School and the sermon ALWAYS seem to go along with the material that I am working on.  This is so INCREDIBLE to me…and just one more God Wink that so clearly shows I am on the right path.

It is what allows me to speak one simple prayer at the end of this day, “what ever your will for me, just simply show me the way and I will gladly follow.” 

Have a GREAT week!!!

Until we meet again...

Hi everyone!

It has been a while since I have written and tonight I do so with a heavy heart.  Isn’t it funny how when we are going through our own personal tragedies, the world just keeps zooming on by?  It is not that it means to do so intentionally, that is just the circle of life.  On July 5^th my mom was sick in the hospital and by August 22^nd, this time last week she was gone.  We always talked numerous times a day and during this summer there were times when I questioned if I called her too much. But then I thought “you just never know when you won’t be able to talk to her again.”  I never in a million years ever thought that this would be only a few short weeks later.

My mom was Curiosity Cottage’s biggest fan, always looking for new things that I could make or embroider, passing out business cards where ever she went.  She would be quick to say “pull yourself together” if I was upset about something, but would also defend my brother and I like a female grizzle bear when she felt it was warranted!!  :D

Like a dear friend wrote and told me this week, losing your mom is not like anything else.  We will miss her forever and can only hope that in time we learn to cope with our grief.  So tonight I am doing what she would tell me to, “pulling myself together” so I can help my own babies with their homework and then I will embroider, because I know no matter what she will always be able to see my creations and will be cheering me on from Heaven.

So take the time this evening, if you are blessed enough to still have your mom with you, give her a call from where ever you may be and tell her how much she means to you.  You will be so glad one day that you did.  We were blessed in that we did get to say these things before our mom passed away.  We love you mom!!

Thankful

Hi everyone,
It has been quite a few days since I last wrote.  Between having my mom in ICU, having a son playing All-Star baseball, and physical therapy for my arm, I am totally wiped!!!  These things have not left me with much energy to write.  For me though, my home - Curiosity Cottage - is my refuge. I love quilts, so seeing this one I had hanging on the clothes line made it a natural element for today's post.  This quilt is just so me!!

Coming home at the end of my roller coaster days, curling up with one of my quilts to pray and read is where I find my strength.  It is during these tough times that I grab a little bit of rest so that I have the strength to keep moving forward.  Tonight mom had a good night, so this will help me to sleep better.  I am just so thankful for my amazing friends, I could not get through all of this with out you!!