How's Your Heart

Hi everyone!

It’s that time of year – bears, candy, cards, and flowers appeared before the Christmas ornaments were put away to get people in the mood for romance, love, and Valentine’s Day.  And for some the excitement of waiting for the candy that goes on sale February 15^th.  I’m more of a “hand written note,” Lowe’s gift card kind of lady, but to each his or her own.  My kids will tell you I am the queen of the Hallmark channel, but what can I say?  Yes, I am guilty as charged.  I just don’t think we should let the times when we have been unlucky in love put a damper on our childlike faith and enthusiasm in the possibility of happily ever after, but I will not go off on my Cinderella tangent. 

For me personally, this time of year when we are surrounded by hearts means so much more.  As I have written before, when I put in my writing cottage I discovered during the process that the one word that best represents me is LOVE.  I smile as I look around while I am writing this because in my little corner of the world I seem to have hearts everywhere.  They are a wonderful reminder to me that hearts, just like people, come in all kinds of beautiful colors, shapes, sizes, and textures.  Different people show love in different ways, some sparkle like Bohemian crystal, some are rustic and their beauty is in their patina, and some may be broken, but the beauty that surrounds them makes them too precious to part with. 

While a lot of people think technology is a means to help us accomplish more, I find and research supports the fact that the fast pace has also resulted in the sad realization that people have a tough time slowing down enough to really do any soul searching so they can truly discover their heart’s desire.  In their quest to make money and to have a comfortable life they often find that they fall into relationships out of convenience or more like a business venture rather than a partnership through a lifelong adventure.  Their compatibility, happiness, love, and passion were not considered in the process, because in the fast past of the world around them, it never even seemed an option.  So in all actuality I would not consider myself unlucky in love, but rather I was unwilling to settle because I know, that I know, that I know that true love, not lust, but true love is comprised of compatibility, love, passion, and respect and does exist – it’s just a matter of not settling until God decides to surprise me with this precious gift for my heart.  However, I also feel that before we can find this with another person we must first have to find these elements within ourselves. 

As I have been leaning into life, I also find that it is sad that some people do not take the time to see what is inside the hearts of those around them.  This is especially true if the people they come in contact with have an outward appearance that they do not deem is worthy of love.  The beauty of watching for God winks and not being afraid to share with the world the incredible things that the God has done in my life is that the following verse is etched in my soul.    

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

- 1 Samuel 16:7

I have not been placed on this earth to please man, but to look around me and see those who may need a hug or encouragement or one of my “Jen sized surprises.”  Coming to peace with this has brought tremendous freedom in my life and allowed my soul to find its wings. 

The shallow side of love is not a new phenomenon and cannot be blamed on technology, but in a world that is so quick to take life’s images to Photoshop so that the outer appearance seems picture perfect, it seems to have gotten a bit worse.  Even children at an early age seem to equate their outward appearance as a barometer to determine if they are worthy of love.  On the other hand, some people that we might think look like super models can also feel at times like the people in their lives do not see their hearts, but merely their physical appearance or the perceived balance in their checkbook.  In both cases, the beauty that lies within the heart of the child and the super model have been over looked. 

If I have learned nothing else in this journey called life it is this, love comes in all shapes and sizes.  If someone has an ugly attitude or disposition toward others and has a heart that does not know how to show compassion, then all of the money in the world cannot dress that up to look like a box of Russell Stover’s chocolates.  Loving and caring for others, and having compassion, this is not something that can be bought off of a shelf in your local department store.  Love, real love, is cultivated over time by experiencing hurt and heartache, life and death, joy and sorrow. 

Those of us who are veterans of the trenches of life can truly help others due to the fact that we have encountered some of the same life experiences that they may be going through.  We have survived, when at times we questioned if that was possible and we have the war wounds of life tucked away like long lost Girl Scout badges.  However, the beauty of it all lies in the fact that this is what enables us to reach out and offer a helping hand to those that are trying to follow the yellow brick road in hopes of finding their way back to Kansas.  Yes, I lived in Kansas.  No, I never saw the yellow brick road, but I have experienced all of the good and bad that life has to offer and in the process it has helped me cultivate the heart that I have today.  My travels around the world, the amazing people in my life who have been with me through the good and bad times, my love for creating and music and writing and surprising others, allows me to wake up each morning with a song on the heart and an outlook that sees each day as an adventure.  In a lot of ways I guess all of the hearts in my little home could be looked at as mile markers in my life journey.   

I read an article by Glennon Doyle Melton this weekend and the following quote really spoke to me.  “The Warrior knows that her heartbreak is her map.  It will lead her toward her purpose, her tribe.”  I think her article resonated in my soul because with respect to my own life, my heartbreak has laid out a beautiful map before me.  In fact, I am in the process of planning out my journey because my purpose, what makes my heart sing, was born out of heartache.  Is that any real surprise though?  Think about it, my three beautiful children were all born out of the pain of labor.  They have come to know the Lord because they have watched my own walk through pain, but have also seen that I have never doubted for a second the Lord’s love for me.  In fact, this is THE most important thing that I try to leave with everyone that comes into my life.  If they never remember anything else, I want my legacy to be that she loved with all her being, she never let go of her mustard seed, and she never doubted that God liked to wink at her. 

Until we meet again…         

Polishing Our Faith

Hi everyone!

As the month dedicated to giving thanks culminates this week, people are also in the process of preparing for Christmas.  I have spent the past year sorting through a lot of things in my life, both material and internal, dusting off treasures from the past and looking forward to the future.  

In the process I found my faith, sitting alone in the midst of the fragrance of potpourri.  I am reminded of how our faith is often with us, but if we are not careful it can get lost. 

Love & Hope, which at first I thought may have been lost, needed to be brought back into my life.  They had been broken long ago, but I knew it was time for them to once again be a part of my Faith. 

When things like Love & Hope rejoin our lives there is a warmth and a newness to it all, but what I noticed when I placed them next to my Faith, was that my Faith had grown dim, worn, and weary from all that life had put it through.  Don’t we all have times such as this, where we don't necessarily lose our faith, but where it grows dim from weariness? 

I needed to revive my Faith, polish it if you will, so that it could embrace and welcome back in Love & Hope.  In the process I was reminded of the mustard seed.  God tells us that all we need is the faith of ONE mustard seed.  When you look at all of the tiny mustard seeds in the little bowl, what an incredible thing it is to realize that all He asks is that our Faith be the size of just ONE.

Sometimes, before we can start to decorate the outside of our lives, whether that be by putting up Christmas lights, building a writing cottage, or having an extreme physical makeover, we first have to dust off and clear out the things in our lives that have led to our Faith becoming dim.  Maybe that entails letting go of hurtful words that have held us back, or betrayal, or maybe it is just a matter of learning to be comfortable in our own skin.  Learning that our Faith was with us all along and sometimes in the battles of life it will get dim, not because we lost our Faith, but because in every battle that we must fight dust and dirt will fly so that we can win the fight.  

A soldier’s uniform gets dirty as he or she fights to save the freedom that we hold dear.  Our Faith can also get covered in dirt, not because it has grown weary after all, but because we have been in the trenches fighting the good fight.

So as we give thanks this week and start to write out our Christmas lists, I think the most precious gift I can give to myself and those around me, is to finish what the Lord has started in my life, polish up my Faith, surround it with Hope & Love and see what beauty results on the outside in this coming new year.

When "Why" becomes "What"

Hi everyone,

It is funny how this week off from work has really brought me back in time…or maybe when we have to walk through storms in our lives, it is through clinging to the rays of sunshine that we once knew that help us endure until the storm passes.

Having spent time around a campfire this weekend, it took me back 30+ years to Thanksgiving spent in the woods with family and friends.  It was an age of innocence.  This Thanksgiving I was also reminded of my first Thanksgiving away from home in Germany.  It is not a holiday celebrated there and doing so on a snowy day far away from my family was a memory I will always cherish.  I guess reminiscing about this time of innocence and my love for Germany just left me with feeling that I wanted and needed to put up a real Christmas tree this year.  Not just any real tree, but my first Christmas tree in Germany was a live tree in a pot.  This year to me it symbolizes bringing life back into my home.  Family and friends have been absent from my home for the past 2 ½ years and being given this gift back – well it means more than any gift that Santa could bring me on Christmas morning.

When it comes to gifts, there is no greater gift than to do things for someone else, though I have now learned the hard way that there are those in this world that thrive on exploiting kindness.  Though I will never be able to answer “why” a person would be this way that I will leave up to the professionals what I do know now is this, during those early adult years God spoke into my heart and told me that I was supposed to be doing something important.  For years though I have not been able to put a finger on what that exactly was that He wanted me to do.  So as November comes to a close, what I am most thankful for is that I now have moved past the “why” that I mentioned in a previous post and am embracing the “what” with the enthusiasm that I had in my young adult life. 

They say that the only way you can help someone go through abuse and recover is if you have been there yourself.  Unfortunately, like so many women in our state I have.  However, I can take my experiences and now use my gift of writing to tell my story.  Abuse knows no age, color or economic status, it does not care about a person’s educational background and it can come in different forms.  However, the common denominator though is 9 times out of 10 always the same – there are red flags which we as women do not see through our rose colored glasses of love.  

If I can use my story to help save the life of just ONE woman, then I have used my talents in a manner that God has intended for me.  I silently prayed and told the Lord that if He would lead me out of the storm, so that I no longer had to just “endure” life, but would finally be able to live it, then I would shout from the mountain tops what He had done for me.  I would use my life to give a voice to the silent and hope to those who feel hopeless.

Though I have been working on 3 books for several years, I think it is of the utmost important to now put all of my energy into this project.  The words are just coming to fast to ignore.  I have been asked does taking on a project like this scare me and my answer is NO because God has this!!  All He ever asks is for us to listen and follow Him when He asks.  So I shall…      

God Gave Me You

Hi everyone!

This post has been weighing on my mind for about a week now.  I have just been trying to find the right way to put it all in words.  For the past 2 ½ years this was a dialog that took place in my life – “God gave me you” – to which about a year ago the reply became “You don’t feel jipped?”   It would be easy, as life has spun out of control over the past couple of months to be angry and say “YES, I feel jipped,” but this is where this post must now begin.

The thing is…God can bring people into our lives and while HE means it all for good, they have their own free will to both accept and embrace the gift HE gives them or to throw it all away.  The toughest part for me is the realization that the past 2 ½ years have been a lie.  Do I feel “jipped” – well no because all I did was look for the best in someone, saw their potential and how God could use our talents for good.   Sometimes the darkness that is part of a person’s life though cannot come into the light.  God did not jip me, He tried.

“Unless you get your house straight, Curiosity Cottage is a lie.  It is in your heart, but it needs to be for real.”  Little did I know at the time of this statement that a disorganized house was the least of the lies that existed under my roof.  I feel like I am in the middle of a Lifetime movie.  However, this one will have a happy ending, because the truth has indeed set me free… Set me free to create and truly bring Curiosity Cottage to the place it was always meant to be.

Will I ever trust again…well I really doubt it at this point.  I could handle the “in sickness & in health; for richer and poorer,” part of marriage, but the curve ball that I have been given has just been too much for me to bare.   I have had to come to the realization that what God meant for good was really just a pit stop in a stepping stone of schemes. 

So how do I take what was meant for harm and turn it into good?  Well it again goes back to what I said at the beginning of this post – God can bring people into our lives for good, but they have the free will to either treasure the gift or to dispose of it at the local Goodwill store.  When we have lived our lives like God has instructed us; listening and obeying His guidance, then we just have to trust Him with what He has planned for us. 

Yes, Curiosity Cottage is my very being and it has been in front of me all the time.  Now it is time to bring her where God has meant for her to be!!

.  

Faith and Moving Forward

Hi everyone,

It is funny how time flies, given that I last had a chance to write at Mother's Day and Father's Day is just around the corner.  I think the teacher in me tends to get so caught up in helping others find and fulfill their dreams that mine often have been put off.  However, it is time for all of that to change...it is time for me to practice what I have been preaching to students and clients for years.

Twenty four years ago God laid it on my heart that I was suppose to be doing some thing big and important with my life.  When God put Curiosity Cottage on my heart I never dreamed where the journey would take me or the potential that would unfold.  Since I teach Computer Science by day, I have often wondered if I should not work in industry, yet over and over God has shown me that my gifts are to create, encourage, and teach.  It is the doors for Curiosity Cottage that continually open.

On March 19, 2012 God would change my life forever when he sent me Michael.  This man has become my AMAZING husband and helpmate.  God knew that we needed each other so that the artistic talents He had blessed us both with could truly come to life!!  That is what this summer is about for us - trusting HIS guidance and using the talents HE has blessed us both with so that we can take them out into the world.

Someone recently told me that they did not want to promote religion within their business.  For us, this is not about religion...it is about our RELATIONSHIP with the Lord.  It is about recognizing what HE has blessed us with and showing others that no matter what life throws at them, they too can use their gifts to light the way for others.  For is I deny what HE has done in our lives, then why on earth should I ever expect or hope that HE would bless our lives and our business venture?

I am so grateful that I have so many INCREDIBLE women to learn from and mentor to me.  Their stories are my inspiration and their courses are my road map!!  You should let them inspire you too!!

Kim Yuhl; Marian Parsons - Miss Mustard Seed; Jennifer Rizzo; Jeanne Oliver; Laurie Anna's Vintage Home

So get ready, because we are walking completely by FAITH and not by SIGHT, but I think by doing this not only will we be blessed, but you will too.

Moving Forward

Hi everyone!

I have found this week that seeing our Curiosity Cottage take off to new heights has left me excited to the point of being Giddy.  

Having a dream for 22 years and seeing that dream come to fruition AND for that it to be a success, well there is just no greater feeling.

Last week I added this vintage typewriter to our booth.  Not only did it sell, but it is going to be used in a MOVIE!!  WOW, this is like having your child elected for class president!!  

This is all because this business is like my baby!

It makes me look so forward to my Easter break at the college so I can create, create, create new things to add to our shop.  I'll keep you posted.

Keeping the Faith

Hi everyone,
It has been a very draining day, to say the least!!  Tonight my mom was put in the ICU.  While my brother and I have suspected that she was sick for quite some time, it is still never easy when someone you love is sick.  I am typically your classic emotional eater, but have been determined today to not let my emotions lead me to break my fast.  To say that I am excited that I have accomplished this would be a HUGE understatement!!  :D

Hey, in every cloud always look for the silver lining, right??!! After all, if you think about it, Jesus had to endure the unspeakable while fasting and yet He did not quit!! :D It is from His strength that I draw on my own right now.  So for once I am a bit short on words and longing to continue reading “The Grace to Race.”  I am also incredibly emotional when I am tired and so I know I need to get some much needed rest.

We will visit again tomorrow!! 

This is the Day!!!

Hi everyone!


Waking up at 3 am, the Lord put the following verse on my heart.

“This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24

Since I fell in March I have had to spend much time in prayer. Since I have not been able to sew and embroider at my normal pace, I have tried to focus on taking my misfortune and turn it into a fortunate blessing!! This verse so reaffirms that to me this morning. It does not tell me it is going to be a great day, it tells us that no matter what life may brings my way today, God made the day and I am to rejoice and be glad. I can tell you from personal experience that it is indeed possible to rejoice and be glad even on the darkest of days. The exciting part about trials and tribulations though is that they refine our character. I would not be the woman and mom I am today had it not been for my life experiences, both good and bad.

Speaking of bad experiences, here I am three months after my fall, still trying to heal, still not knowing if I am going to need surgery and yet God is continuing to use this time in such an amazing way!! I am using this time to tend to my house and get it in order. In addition I have finally learned out to reach out to friends and ask for help. Having spent my entire adult life handling everything life required by myself; this was a huge thing for me. I have traveled the globe, moving back and forth between Europe several times, shipping household goods, pets and kids by myself and yet now with an injured right arm, everyday household chores are a challenge. My career and business all involve a computer, which I use to stay on for hours every day and now it might be days between times that I actually get on the computer.

That is okay though, I have taken this little bundle of lemons life has thrown my way, added them to my water and I am now doing the Daniel Fast. Yes, when all else fails and you need direction in your life, the best and surest course of action…just pray!!

I look so forward to see where this entire journey is going to lead so that I might share it with you. I am even more excited knowing that one day I will be healed and back to my normal pace of making and creating exciting things to show you. How long will this take, well that is the beauty about life, only God knows the answer to that question and for now He has not shared the answer with me.

So though this is Monday, “rejoice and be glad” and have a GREAT week!!