A Walk in the Woods

Hi everyone,

The fall semester is back in full swing and that often means I have to put my creativity aside for a while. Of course this is common for most of my friends as well and with my "baby" a senior so much more is added to my plate. I'm trying to find a way to work both into the equation of my life, because to create is to breath for me. The fall weather draws me to the outdoors. I find it helps me clear my mind and focus.

In a world that so desperately seems to be searching for something, I find that my quiet devotion time brings more to my life than money could ever buy. This time lets me not only reflect about life, but also look at the world around me, to try and see what He sees so that I might be able to use the gifts that He has given me to help others. The saying, "You can't see the forest for the trees" seems to come to mind, which is kind of ironic since I am sitting outside enjoying the trees that surround me. To me personally, what this quote means is that sometimes we can be so close to a situation that we can't see how best to maneuver our way through or how best to help others that may be going through something. For me, it is in this quiet time that I can read, write, pray, and reflect to see what I can do.


For me this sacred time in the midst of a very busy season of my life sometimes involves singing and dancing, cook outs with kids, and laughter with friends. For me it may mean marveling at the deer that appear out of the wood line in my back yard or cheering for my child as his last football season passes by so quickly.

Though I know without any certainty where I want to take my creative career, I am at peace with the pace that this journey is taking. I have reached an age where I know what it means to bloom where I am planted and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Until next time...

Hugs! Jen

We Put the FUN is Dysfunction

Hi everyone!

I decided this morning to listen to my doctor and go home and rest after class, but by the time I finished the things I had to get done my morning turned into 2:30 PM.  Oh well…such is life.  One of the items on my agenda was going by to check on my stepfather.  I promised mom 4 ½ years ago I would take care of him and though at times he plucks my last nerve, I have honored her request.  But leaving there this afternoon several things seemed to hit me at once. 

For as long as I can remember I have always been more emotional than normal when I didn’t feel well.  And since I am the Queen of the Hallmark channel and when commercials come on my kids will say, “Now mom, it’s just a commercial, don’t cry,” it’s been a pretty draining afternoon.  My mom use to say that no matter how old we got, when we were sick we just wanted our momma.  Yes, that is true and thus it makes the grief kind of run over me like a Mac truck today.  It’s funny, no matter how old we get, when we don’t feel well we just want mom.  So to deal with the grief I write. 

Raising kids is tough, but taking care of our family members when we are older is not something anyone ever told us about when we were in our 20s.  Why do I do it?  Why do I take care of a stepfather that really never had to accept me as his own?  Well I do it because he did just that.  He stepped in and became the dad that I didn’t have and that I needed.  None of us who are parents are perfect.  We all make mistakes; all wish we could do things over; but we do the best we can with the cards life gives us at the time.

If I got nothing else from my crazy teenage years in this blended family I did get my sense of adventure.  And many of you who went through this time in my life with me also got a taste of Jane & Clyde’s Big Adventures as well.  Some of you are reading this, shaking your heads saying, “I can’t believe we did that!!”  I did get my ability to learn to put the fun in dysfunction from these times.  After all, there isn’t a family around that doesn’t have some level of dysfunction.  It’s how you choose to handle it that makes all the difference in the world.

In college I worked for International Paper here in town and the men under him would always ask me, “Does he smile at home.”  I guess not letting his sometimes gruff nature get to me prepared me to deal with many gruff people in my life.  It also taught me that under every gruff exterior there is a teddy bear that just needs a hug – I was saying “Whatever” through my actions long before the teens of today put it into words.

So on days when I don’t feel well and I am missing my mom; on days when he is plucking my last nerve; I smile through the tears and simply say, “Whatever” because I hope and pray that one day when I am plucking on one of my kids last nerves that they too will be there to look after their momma. 

I hope that I have taught them to always chase the sun and to always look for the fun in the dysfunction.  Most of all, I just hope they always know that their momma will always be here to give them a hug whenever they need it and when my time here on this earth is through that they will feel my hugs from heaven like I feel my mom’s.

Until tomorrow…  

Moved to Tears

Hi Everyone! 

Well this evening you may want to pour a cup of coffee before you start reading…I seem to have a lot more to say.  :D  Imagine that!!  :D  Sunday is by far my FAVORITE day of the week and this day was no exception to that rule!!  I embraced today as if I had a child returning home from war. 

It was a challenging day filled with warm embraces and tears of joy too.  I spent the morning with friends as we absorbed Bro. Mike’s sermon like a sponge.  With one of my Love Languages being Physical Touch, I so welcomed this time of hugs and fellowship with dear friends.  It is also that one time of the week where I can sing my heart out in public; after all, my kids shouldn't be the only ones to get the privilege of hearing me!! 

The afternoon…well this was a tough one.  I spent part of the afternoon comforting my dear friend Mike and his family. 

What made it so tough?  Well this was the first time I have been back to the funeral home since mom passed.    Add to this the fact that Mike and his wife Jan had bought our home in Timberlake, that I loved so dearly, and well you have enough emotions floating around to lift a whole fleet of hot air balloons. 

It is kind of funny how I can be doing just fine, but then some unsuspecting person will say “I’m so sorry to hear about your mom, how are you doing???” And well then the rest is history…the tears start to flow.  Of course since I can cry at things on TV like someone on cue for a Hallmark commercial, my kids have grown use to this reaction from me.  Mikey does turn to me during shows though and will say “now mom, remember, this is just TV.”  Yes, my precious baby boy, I know. :D

Though they have gotten use to their mom’s tender heart over the years.  What I have tried to do this day is not avoid the tidal wave of emotions, but use them to get out things that need to be added to my novel.  So with my notebook and bible in hand this morning I headed out the door.  I thought at first I may have to pull the car over and just miss church so I could write…isn’t it funny how when the words start to flow there is no shut-off valve??!!  So I held on to my thoughts until I could get into Sunday School.  It would also not be a Sunday if I didn’t show up fashionably late… :D :D 

What is just so incredible about this entire writing process though, is that the lessons from Sunday School and the sermon ALWAYS seem to go along with the material that I am working on.  This is so INCREDIBLE to me…and just one more God Wink that so clearly shows I am on the right path.

It is what allows me to speak one simple prayer at the end of this day, “what ever your will for me, just simply show me the way and I will gladly follow.” 

Have a GREAT week!!!